Photos:
http://picasaweb.google.com/thubtenpalden/HH_SF_04_07

I get a certain feeling in certain places. I've tried to determine if it's a memory, an association, a flashback, a deja-vu or what. I'm pretty sure it's a spiritual experience, but I've tried to be objective. The places where I feel this feeling are often where lamas dwell, teach, have made blessings and so on. During the weekend of teachings by His Holiness Dalai Lama (April 27-29th,  2007) in San Francisco, I had this feeling almost constantly.

We drove down from Portland on Wednesday. It took 11 hours. We stayed with a friend of a nun I know who had a parrot that spoke Russian, Spanish, English and Tara mantras in a constant stream, like a digital mix with reverb. It was quite interesting, if not somewhat creepy. As we were leaving in the morning, our host told us a story of a scientist lady she knows who uses a special spectral photography to shoot aura energies. While in New York, they did a test where the nun did a control shoot without her mala, and one with the mala. Without the mala, her aura was thin, as she's been sickly for some time. With the mala on, however, there were a spectrum of light energies surrounding and penetrating her aura. The scientist lady speculates that these are enlightened beings who are attracted to holy objects. In Buddhism, we often work with visualizing, for example, that when we take refuge, that all infinite beings from beginningless time take refuge with us. Or when we do a prostration, that all beings prostrate with us. This is a particular point in Vajrayana Buddhist practices, where deities are visualized and believed to be present. I found this story interesting, as I've often noted when taking teachings that there are many beings present with the teacher as he speaks with the authority and blessing of the lineage masters. 

We got to San Francisco and found the Tse Chen Ling Dharma Center. The basement houses traveling monks and Venerable Robina's Liberation Prison Project. As we walked in the door Marilyn and Barry from Canada were arriving. I know them from last year's Kopan West Lam Rim retreat with Robina, as well as our last visit to Vancouver, B.C. to see H.H. Robina greeted us warmly, and we went downstairs to get to work. Everyone upstairs was running around preparing the center for Lama Zopa Rinpoche's arrival from Santa Cruz. He and several very prominent Geshes (lamas with 'doctorates' in Buddhist scripture) were going to do a Guru Puja for His Holiness. That was an added bonus for us, as we had no idea LZR was going to be staying at the center during teachings.

I recently started writing letters for LPP at Ven. Robina's request. We talk to inmates who have a serious interest in the Dharma, acting as friends and spiritual teachers. It was nice to connect with the people who I've only known via email. Everyone was very nice. Tysa worked on a project for their bookstore and I did some database work. After a couple of hours, we realized that everyone was getting ready to go greet H.H. at his hotel. I hadn't counted on such an amazing opportunity, so we jumped at the chance to give rides over to the Fairmount Hotel.

We waited out front of the hotel for about 45 minutes while the secret policia and hotel knuckleheads tried to push the crowds back. It's pretty funny when they try to strong-arm monks on robes. The monks just ignored them and only moved back when physically pushed. H.H. arrived by limo, and the security paramilitary team sprang into position. The Dalai Lama was protected, and that's what matters.  He went over to one side and touched the heads of some monks, presumably blessing them, before coming over to our side to do the same thing. You can see pictures of this scene at the link above. He came over where I was and spoke to the Geshe-la from Tse Chen Ling for a moment. I put my hand out, hoping he would high-five me, or slap a blessing on me. It's obvious that if he acknowledged every person that he'd never get anything done, so it's cool that that didn't happen. He looked at me though, and I consider that a powerful blessing.

Later that night, after doing more work at LPP, we went upstairs to find the place PACKED wall-to-wall with Buddhists from Portland, Santa Cruz, San Francisco and more. We all lined up outside to offer kata to LZR as he arrived. There are pictures of this as well. Now, the thing with Lama Zopa Rinpoche is that he's a very, very powerful being. When he shows up, people come out of the woodwork to see him. An otherwise empty center will be jammed to the brim. Tysa met LZR when he came to Portland, before she took refuge. I remember when he walked in to Maitripa. He stopped and looked at her, as if he were very happy to see her. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that Venerable Ingrid was staying with us at the time, and that she is in many respects an agent of LZR's Guru Mandala. If you think this sounds weird, don't worry, it's not. But it is heavy, and psychic, and profound. Not weird though. Tysa had gone ahead of me in line to offer kata and evidently LZR didn't say anything to the first 20 people or so, until he got to Tysa. She's since taken refuge in the Kagyu tradition and has become a practitioner. Well LZR stopped at Tysa, looked at her and asked, "How are you?" before moving on down the line. I find this very interesting. Then when he got to me, he gave me this funny look, like, "man, are you causing trouble again?".

Let me explain the effect that LZR has on me, and from what I've heard, many others. He teaches you what you need to be taught. He can see where you're at, and he breaks it down, right then and there, on the spot. With a look. Anyone who's spent any time at all around gurus knows how this works and that it works. So his teaching to me became evident by the time I got home from the trip.

We went to Oakland and stayed with my friend from Maureen from retreat last summer. I try to stay in touch with people over email if possible, to keep the relationships alive. We took BART over to the Bill Graham Civic Center each day, taking 2 hour teachings in the morning and afternoon. We hung out with many different friends and acquaintances during the lunch breaks. See photos. The monks and nuns from different traditions were all seated on the stage with His Holiness. Lama Zopa Rinpoche was up front, with his head down almost the whole time. The topic was Dependent Origination, via some verses by Nagarjuna and Tsongkapa. H.H. taught in Tibetan, with his amazing translator Geshe (?) breaking it down flawlessly in English for us. I think if you're really interested in this topic, grab a copy of Fundamental Wisdom of the Middle Way by Nagarjuna and have at it. This text is perhaps the cornerstone of the Mahdyamika philosophical school, of which the Gelugpa tradition is founded. It's all about Emptiness. 

His Holiness offered the Bodhisattva refuge vow (Vow of the Awakened Mind) after the talks on emptiness. I took my Bodhisattva Vow with Lama Zopa Rinpoche in November, 2006, but I really felt like my selfishness and self-centeredness got the best of me since then. I had thought I needed to take it again in the presence of a Master as soon as possible, but I hadn't known when that would happen. So when I saw the first stanza on the big screen of the auditorium, I knew that this was the time, and that there was no higher Master with whom to reaffirm my vow. This made me very happy, and I didn't realize it until later that LZR knew this would happen, and that was the teaching he had for me. It's really quite beautiful how all of these things work together. So I said the prayer with whole heartedness, in the presence of the Buddha, and all Enlightened Beings, trillions upon gazillions of them who must have been there in that auditorium, at that time, with His Holiness Dalai Lama. If they were ever anywhere, they would be there then. I'm sure if I had that spectral camera, they'd show up in the image. So with this conviction, I retook my vow.  

Following the refuge vow, a Gyuto monk from Gyuto Vajrayana Center , the San Jose monastery that sponsored the event, gave thanks. As he talked, his voice cracked and he was obviously overcome with gratitude and emotion. When he got to the end of his thank you, his heart exploded. The last few words broke though the lump in his throat, and he tearfully finished up. I had a lot of moments during this trip, but I'll say that this one I felt most deeply. Frankly, I think the monk expressed what all 4500 of us were feeling. This was evidenced by the silence of the auditorium as His Holiness Dalai Lama was leaving. You could feel his presence throughout the building. The air was thick with it. The room stood, hands together, in devotion and gratitude. The world famous Gyuto monks sang a Long Life Prayer for His Holiness for about an hour afterwards. Most people stayed for this. You can see them with yellow hats in the photos.

That night Tysa and I walked through a cemetery, thinking about the Chod practice that we're about to learn, taking pictures of black cats, feeding candy to a strange rodent, and winding down. The next morning at 0630 we headed home. We didn't realize it, but Hwy 80 had burned down as we passed it, heading out of Oakland back towards Portland. We drove most of the next 9 hours in silence.

-d

With the wish to free all beings
I shall always go for refuge
to Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha,
Until I reach full enlightenment.

Inspired by wisdom and compassion,
Today, in the Buddha's presence,
I generate the mind of full awakening
For the benefit of all sentient beings.

As long as space remains
As long as sentient beings remain
Until then may I too remain
And dispel the miseries of the world.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Lama Surya Das has a new book, "Buddha is as Buddha Does", which coincided with his annual stop here in Portland, Oregon, USA for teachings. Around 100 of us had a one day retreat in a church downtown. It was lovely. The link to the pictures is at the bottom of the page.

The topic was on the 10, (notice not 6) Paramitas or Virtues of being a Bodhisattva. Basically, a bodhisattva is commited to not leaving the realm of samsara, suffering, infinite cyclic existence, delusion until all 6 realms - Hell Realm, Hungry Ghost Realm, Animal Realm, Human Realm, Jealous God Realm, God Realm are completely empty of suffering sentient beings.  In zen we say, "Sentient Beings are Numberless. I Vow to Save Them All".  That's the commitment. The Paramitas are the method. That's the gist of it.

Sound overwhelming? In his cogent, calm and exacting style, Lama Surya Das demystifies, clarifies and solidifies the meaning of these seemingly esoteric teachings. Tysa saw him at the Powell's City of Books book-signing the night before, and I would have to agree with her evaluation. We were both pleasantly surprised. Why a surprise? Well, I have to admit, when somebody's doing a book tour, I wonder if they're  Turning of the Wheel of Dharma or the Wheel of the Dharma Industrial Complex. Let's not pretend: Enlightenment is BIG business. So, like the Tibetan Lamas always say, "check up".

I've been practicing a couple of times per month with the local Lama Surya Das meditation group, who is solely responsible for putting on this event. If you're read any of my diatribes on Dharma Neurosis, you'll recall that I periodically have doubts about the so called sanghas here and about. Well I'll say this: if the students are a reflection of the teacher, then this teacher must be pretty good. Because these people whom I practice with are very delightful, kind and easygoing.

Yes, it's weird to call a white man, "Lama" and he did look at me funny when I asked him to sign my prayer book instead of a copy of his new release, but all in all, I had a very nice day of teachings, and not a single moment of agitation. Sure, it's because I'm growing, but really, these are nice people and the teacher is very good. What he does is he explains things with what he calls 'definition clusters'. Now I'm a big fan of adjectives, I like to use 3 at a time, more if possible. So this appeals to me. He uses Sanskrit, Tibetan and colloquial terminology to hit the 'undefinable ultimate meaning' from many angles. This is a good skill, and he does it mostly without notes.

The practices that he had us do were also very nicely structured. We started with a mantra of Guru Rinpoche, repeating it over and over while he led with singing different melodies and rhythms. Ok, a New York sounding Jew doesn't have the prettiest singing voice, but under it was a very steady pulse. After he got us established on a regular beat and melody, he added his own changes to it that kept us kind of on the edge of the beat and pushing deeper into the vibration of the mantra. This was followed by about 25 minutes of silent meditation, and another short period of recitation. We began each session this way, with the Chenrezig, "OM MANI PADME HUM" and then the Tara, "OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SVAHA" mantras. Dawn-Starr, the lady who makes the event and the study group happen, had her personal Thankgas (Tibetan deity paintings) behind the altar. You can see this in the photo gallery. So as we were reciting, you could look up at the Thankga of the deity whose mantra you were singing. Kind of like a well done TV set, the Thankas, altar cloths, even the teacher's shirt were finely color coordinated, making for a consistent and flowing presentation.

He gave teachings, mostly from his new book after these meditations. The teachings, he explained from the Outer, Inner and Ultimate meaning levels. He didn't go too far into the Ultimate, but those who practice know how to meditate on these deeper meanings, which really defy verbal explanations anyways. So this was good, and I enjoyed every minute of it. He offered to answer questions, which is really in a way one of the difficulties I have with traditional Tibetan teachings, namely that they don't often have a Q&A session. Nobody had a question and he seemed disappointed, so I offered one of my own. Well hey, the mic was right there and I'm never short of something to say.

I asked him how the AA quote, "our very lives as ex problem drinkers depend on our constant thought of others" fits into the Bodhisattva path. He was actually very interested in this, and we had a bit of a discussion, wherein he asked me to repeat the quote so he could write it down and use it in the future. This is right up my alley, and as a matter of fact I'm teaching a class in June called Integrating Buddhism and the Twelve Steps. Click here to register. He asked me to explain how this concept helped me stay sober. Of course, anyone who's been in the program for a while can tell you, the root of our problem is self-centeredness. It's a spiritual malady, which centers in the mind, rather than the body. The solution is, as we say in the program, do 'get out of yourself'. So that was a lot of fun having the discussion and I felt like I connected nicely with Lama Surya.

More next time, as we continue this fascinating journey. Thank you so much for tuning in and please, feel free to make comments or ask questions. Don't forget I have the 12 Step, Power of Now and Dharma 'pods' here on Zaadz for discussion as well.

Photos from the Lama Surya Das retreat:
http://picasaweb.google.com/thubtenpalden/LamaSuryaDas

love.

-d

May 31st, 2007
Today is the anniversary of Buddha's Enlightenment, and a full moon. Big Mind. Buddha Mind. One Mind.

Since me and you really are interdependent, dependently arising and empty of inherently existing essence, there really is no me and there really is no you. So, how about that parking space, can I have it?

On Saturday, May 26th, I took a Big Mind seminar with Genpo Roshi (Dennis Merzel) here in Portland, Oregon. Genpo's new book, Big Mind-Big Heart  just came out.  According to Genpo, people have reported having Big Mind experiences just from reading the book.

If you click here: http://blacksamba.com/talks/bigmind/, you can download a couple of older videos from when the process was first introduced. He's refined it a bit since those were done, and you can buy a DVD set that will walk you through the whole process as it is now.  The psych piece of this all started with Hal Stone and his wife when they created something called Voice Dialogs. You can read their book, Embracing Ourselves to get a better idea of the psychological, Jungian aspect of the process.

I first did Voice Dialogs with my wife in about 1988 or '89, when she was in Psych Tech school down in Huntington Beach. We sat around the coffee table with our AA friends, talking to our individual voices in each other. It was pretty creepy, pretty powerful, and pretty real. I think it was considered kind of a dangerous therapy back then, and was somewhat controversial. Maybe people split off or disassociated and weren't able to integrate. I was a little intrigued, and somewhat skeptical about Genpo Roshi's approach. So of course I had to try it!

Genpo is a credible teacher in my eyes, partly because he was a student of Maezumi Roshi, as was my main teacher from the early 90's, Joko Beck. I've practiced with one of her successors, Larry Christensen here at the  Zen Center of Portland for several years. Genpo has been a Zen teacher for over 30 years, and reached a point of burnout around 1999. He developed this Big Mind process as a way of helping people from both a psychological and a Zen view. Although he asserts that the Big Mind process is neither, I think it's more of a disclaimer. He said he doesn't want to be judged by purists from either camp.

Larry was a friend of Genpo's from the 70's at the Zen Center of LA, so he attended the seminar. One of my other teachers, Yangsi Rinpoche, whom I've written about on this blog,  also attended. That was interesting because I go to a lot of teachings, and unless it's the Dalai Lama, I don't often see my other teachers in the audience.

My Assessment: The Big Mind process is pretty amazing, and it really did bring me to a heightened state of Big Mind Awareness. I wouldn't do it justice trying to explain it all here, but if you watch the videos and/or read the book, you'll know if you want to explore it further. And I think you will. Genpo does offer retreats on the process, and at the end of his seminars, he actually gives you permission to go use it in your work and private lives! That is a really interesting point. He encourages the use of the process with clients, students, partners. In Tantric initiations, you get permission to practice, but it takes quite a bit more for an empowerment to teach.

As an overview, here's how it goes. At Genpo's prompting, we are asked to get 'in voice' with our Inner Critic, Controller, Skeptic, Fear, Anger, etc. Members of the audience dialog with the teacher by shouting out statements in answer to his queries. It's kind of different than a typical dharma talk in that it's totally interactive. We have the analogy that there's a corporation with 10,000 employees (like the 10,000 states of mind spoken of in Buddhist Sutras). None of the employees knows his job title, job description, nor who her boss is. This is chaos. Insanity. And this is how we live. So we do something very sane. We take out each of these voices, and give them their due, in an interview. A Question and Answer about who they are, what they do, what they don't do, and so on. That's the Dualistic side of the triangle.

Then, after a break, we move to the Non-Dual side, starting with the Seeker of the Awakened Way. We talk to the seeker for a bit, then we talk to the Mind That Does Not Seek, or something like that. We move further into this, calling it by different names, like Buddha Mind. Then we move to the top, or Apex of the triangle. As he calls for the Integrated State, the Unborn, the Maha Vairochana Buddha, people in the room start speaking from this state, as if they ARE that from which all Buddhas are Born. DANG! I was really wondering, and I didn't get a chance to ask, but were these people all kind of veterans of this process, or were they having a spiritual experience or what? In the beginning, he'd asked how many Buddhists, Zen students, etc. and I didn't think there were that many. But from the way people were calling out their answers, it was as if I was in a room full of Buddhas. Well, depending on who you talk to, we're always in a room full of Buddhas, but I'll leave that to another discussion.

Whether or not the participants were parroting the latest new age spiritual terminology, or were actually in Big Mind, is kind of irrelevant if you ask me. And I am the one you're talking to. Or listening to, reading, as it were. The point being that Genpo brought us through the process of identifying, objectifying, disseminating, owning and then re-integrating all of these archetypes. He did it kind of tricky. Since he is a real Zen master, and has his own Awakened Mind that, incidentally, just kind of came about in the past 8-9 years, he was able to bring it out like only a real good Zen teacher can do. But he did it with a fresh-new-interactive-no- bullshit style.

I felt like I was in a very boundary-less, awakened, joyful, open, spacious and compassionately grateful state of Being at the end of the seminar. That is, until some lady told me to get out of her way. Then my Controller/Skeptic/Big Ego took over my Big Mind!  But still, this was a very interesting form of Direct Introduction that is, I think, just about as revolutionary as Shakyamuni Buddha was 2500 years ago.

Happy Parinirvana, all of you Buddhas of the past, present and future...

love

-d